is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
