JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
