In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
