We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
