what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
