Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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