you guys were way drunker than both of me
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
