I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize