why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
