we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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