guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
