Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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