I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
