don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
