They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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