maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
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