He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
