their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
