I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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