Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i was born a porn star she said
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
