WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
