I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
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I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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