You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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