I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
