Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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