I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
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Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
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I think I sprained my soul last night
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If I had your ass I would rule the world