we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
