i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
