i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
