we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
