I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
