I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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