The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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