Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
it's like heaven, but drunker
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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