Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
