what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
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He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
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Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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