Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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