Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
