We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
