so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
