He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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