So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
