scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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