Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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