you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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