Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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