Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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