so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I have grass duct taped all over my body
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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