i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
