I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
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