she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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