i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Just high enough for therapy.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
