You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
