I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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