OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
this will be a night to untag.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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