come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
