Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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