i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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