I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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