Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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