So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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