He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
