how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
